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Refraction

by Rogue Half

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1.
Fracture 03:14
Find myself, but I’m looking in the wrong place by-the-bye. Have I ever even been the same? (Yeah). Fuck everything I create (yeah). But you’re not helping in the sense that I wanna fucking go insane today, or tomorrow; it doesn’t matter. I’m just pissed off. I can’t be alone with my thoughts, ‘cause I just tear myself apart, tear myself apart. Sometimes I wish I had a soft spot for myself instead of undergoing brain-rot. But the fact is, the fascist in me is fighting for control over all the anarchy in my soul. To think that I could keep the peace, between the other side of me, and the side that never wants to be. Never wants to see, the possibility of a day when there’s just one of me. Have you ever done shit that makes your blood boil? In retrospect I was just a boy, but it makes me wanna puke my guts up and punch the wall. I’m just a little bit fucked. Going in circles trying to find myself, or fight myself. Find myself, I can’t be a soul that’s cleaved in two. Break apart the parts of myself that I know have got to go. I can’t breathe anymore, I can’t breathe anymore. There’s not room enough for the two of us in here, it’s far too hot. I can’t breathe anymore, I can’t breathe anymore. Sometimes I wish I had a soft spot for myself instead of undergoing brain-rot. But the fact is, the fascist in me is fighting for control over all the anarchy in my soul. Spread my brain on the canvas and wait, for the words to make sense and relate. Bent over the mirror, all I see clearer are the lines in my face.
2.
Sedate Me 03:44
Is this the way it ends for me, now that I’ve seen inside my heart (so cold)? Aorta filled with blackened numb, why can’t I care for anything (just too easy not to give a fuck)? Is it better to be indifferent to the place I’m in; the places I’ve been inside my head, inside my heart? ‘Round and ‘round we go (‘til the landscape’s a blur). What have we to show (for the pain and the hurt)? I used to wish that I was numb inside (‘cause it felt like nothing). ‘Til I couldn’t climb out; oh how I’ve tried (take me back). Take me back. Feed me. All my fears. Feed me. All my fears. The pen and the sword are the same damn thing, so sign my name in blood. I promise I will hang here eyes closed, self loathe. Sedate me, sedate me, sedate me, sedate me. ‘Round and ‘round we go (‘til the landscape’s a blur). What have we to show (for the pain and the hurt)? I used to wish that I was numb inside (‘cause it felt like nothing). ‘Til I couldn’t climb out; oh how I’ve tried (take me back). Take me back. (Round and round we go). (Round and round we go).
3.
Bleary eyed, headache strong, here I find myself again. I’m a glutton for insane (hello, hello there my old friend). Stuck in a time loop I can control the real until it gets in (gets in). Disrupts the holy place inside my head. What have I to ask to get a real answer from you? I will run in circles, blame all my woes on you (on you). Hold me tighter than I can, it’s all the same when you’re running from common sense. Wait up, will I find a way to grind to the bone the bits of me that don’t feel like home? I’m finding it hard to improve for me. What have I to ask to get a real answer from you? I will run in circles, blame all my woes on you. (We all want the same thing, it’s dark when you’re alone). Alone. What have I to ask to get a real answer from you? I will run in circles, blame all my woes on you (on you). (We all want the same thing, it’s dark when you’re alone).
4.
Square Eyes 02:12
Try to look away. Buy me. Sell me. Vote for me, because you’re all slaves. Finally giving us back reality. The means to find the meaning of life and capitalising on misery. I can feel the skulls beneath my feet break. Finding me the base of a creed that’s fucking fake. Why be alone when I can see, the only things that matter to me, matter materially. Will I ever get out of this purgatory space? Am I chained? Am I free? Drawn into the vaccum. Square eyes are the least on my mind. Everything here is so damn nice. I’m so glad I’m not blind. All eyes on me. All eyes on me.
5.
Crawl and climb through bones; a vulture’s feast. Claw-marked backs, it’s so hard to breathe. Can I leave before I turn? Scavenging for hate will make you strong. Be my affliction. Act a little bit crazed, and speak in tongues. A pathetic vision, just a patchwork tapestry of sways and slumps. Hiding among us. Can you feel their pain? It licks up your spine, and into your mind; the lust of preying on the weak. Vultures; craving the abuse of hatred. I can feel their eyes burn a hole in the back of my skull. Fine; I’ve made some mistakes, but I’ll reconcile with my shadows and my place in life inside the hive, even though I know it’s burning me. Can we peacefully be allowed to leave before the last door slams shut? Before the pain of blame and the vultures come for the last of us? Be my affliction. Act a little bit crazed, and speak in tongues. A pathetic vision, just a patchwork tapestry of sways and slumps. Be the weight in me (keep my feet on the ground). Teach me; make me see (and pull my head from the clouds). Be the weight in me (keep my feet on the ground). Teach me; make me see (and pull my head from the clouds).
6.
Warhawk 03:49
It’s a cut throat business telling everybody we’re just fine. You fly so right while your left hand lies. Apply the grind and invade the mind; convince the ‘burbs that they’re all gonna die. How could we ever know the truth given what we’ve seen on the television? We can’t, we won’t. We’re blind, their fault. Wait! Wait! You know we don’t have a reason to go there. Wait! Wait! Drop bombs incite hate, hate. Wait! Wait! You know we don’t have a reason to go there. Wait! Wait! Deal death with a few handshakes. The fight doesn’t end when the interest stands. It falls into chaos. We’re blinded by borders and blood-red sands. It’s follow the leader. Fight, fight, looking down a long sight. Foreign interest is a killer for the poor’s plight. Get a puppet ready, give him lines. Justification fucking falsified. Break bread, break bones. Break hospitals, break their homes. We can’t, we won’t. We’re blind, their fault. Wait! Wait! You know we don’t have a reason to go there. Wait! Wait! Incite the fight; fuck the mind. Wait! Wait! Covet coin, get a reason to go there. Wait! Wait! Fake it and make it a mine for the dime. War hawk! War hawk! War hawk! When you trade real life for the x-ray eyes, you’re a war hawk. Everybody dies, but your pockets are lined. The fight doesn’t end when the interest stands. It falls into chaos. We’re blinded by borders and blood-red sands. It’s follow the leader. The fight doesn’t end when the interest stands. It falls into chaos. We’re blinded by borders and blood-red sands. It’s follow the leader. Close the deal!
7.
Still Live 03:46
Not sure what I am doing here. Will I find a reason to be, to see what I see? Is it ‘cause of infidelity? Beliefs that I have chosen not to believe? I’ll keep to myself, but try to find a bond all the while. A purgatory hell. I’m finding myself by the mile. I know if I stop moving, I’ll just betray my nature. Waking up, finding everything is real; realer than I’d hoped. Knowing that I can’t go back to sleep, but I’m not sinking. I can feel in my bones and my heart that I can still live with fire. I still have everything I need to make this worthwhile. I’ve waited to weigh my worth and my place in the world for a while, but now I see and think to myself with a smile; now my worth and place in the world is self-determined. Waking up, finding everything is real; realer than I’d hoped. Knowing that I can’t go back to sleep, but I’m not sinking. I can feel in my bones and my heart that I can still live with fire. I still have everything I need to make this worthwhile.
8.
White Noise 03:06
Blindside hypocrisy; people flock to tragedy. Is something wrong with me? Does a vulture not feel shame? It feels good just to validate the oldest nature of the human race. And I can’t say that it’s fine, say that it’s fine. Say that it’s fine to be fake (what do you have to say, what have you got to say?). Brainless fake fuck. Ain’t it sad? Ain’t it sad? Keep the hell away, exclaim how many shits you gave all day. Just not in my vicinity. Why is it that I can’t bring myself to grieve? In front of no-one else, but myself. I just believe (I’d be coming back to say). I had no idea that you cared so much. Do I lack the trust because I’m out of touch, or is it ‘cause you’re full of shit? Get a fix, get a room. A sadist isn’t apathetic, when it’s you. It’s just another chance to be, close to death. And show us all how much you care, how much you care. Why is it that I can’t bring myself to grieve? In front of no-one else, but myself. I just believe (I’d be coming back to say). Why is it that I can’t bring myself to grieve? In front of no-one else, but myself. I just believe (I’d be coming back to say). Everybody’s fascinated with death until it’s in your home, and in your head. Fascinated with death until it’s in your home, and in your head.
9.
Leave Me Be 04:10
Peacefully, peacefully. I’ll pull away from these constraints. Only shattered bones, could stop me from leaving. So we’ll see. Leave me be, leave me be. I’m done with this game now, so set me free. Leave me be, leave me be. Alone for some time, just to get some peace. Leave me be, leave me be. I’m done with this game now, so set me free. And I’ll pull away from these constraints. Ha ha ha! Making all the great mistakes deciding what to believe in. God forbid, I believe in myself. This shell is looking a lot like hell, and I can’t stay. I’ve outgrown. I can’t stay here. Leave me be, leave me be. I’m done with this game now, so set me free. Leave me be, leave me be. Alone for some time, just to get some peace. Leave me be, leave me be. I’m done with this game now, so set me free. And I’ll pull away from these constraints. Want me to play your game? I’d rather stay insane. Another play on the merry-go-round, ‘cause it feels so good getting made to bow. Consuming everything you need to get around. Being mediocre ain’t an option; pay it down. Or get in a new mentality, material, fatality. The things you own will own you quicker than you can say “get out while you can”. “Get out while you can”. Leave me be, leave me be. I’m done with this game now, so set me free. Leave me be, leave me be. Alone for some time, just to get some peace. Leave me be, leave me be. I’m done with this game now, so set me free. And I’ll pull away from these constraints.

credits

released March 11, 2018

Produced and Engineered by Reid Jones and Sam Trott at Deep Blue Studios in Adelaide, South Australia.

Mixing and Mastering by Sam Trott.

Music written and performed by Rogue Half.

Drums guest performed by Karim Kamara at Deep Blue Studios in Adelaide, South Australia.

Album artwork by Oliver White.

Artist management and booking by Brad Hook.

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